


All Kinds of Kinds

by tac_winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood, Cutting, Demon Blood Addict Sam Winchester, Demon Blood Addiction, Episode: s05e14 My Bloody Valentine, Famine - Freeform, I'm Sorry, Nudity, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation, lots and lots of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 08:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3762088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tac_winchester/pseuds/tac_winchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Famine comes into town, he brings out everyone's strongest hungers. Some urges affect others, but some act on themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Kinds of Kinds

**Author's Note:**

> In case you haven't read the tags, please note that this fic has graphic depictions of self-harm. If you are easily triggered by blood or the seeming inability to stop cutting, please stop reading. This is your final trigger warning. But in all honesty, I believe this is an okay fic.

Dean, Cas, Sam, and I all sat around the restaurant table. I had a beer in front of me while Dean left his hamburger untouched. My mind was elsewhere while they talked about Cupid and what he could be up to. I had been numb for days, and hunting wasn't helping like it usually would. The feeling of ganking the next baddie didn't make me look forward to the next minute. Sometimes I wished I could still go home and lie in bed all day. The Impala is as close to home as I'll ever be, with the smell of gunpowder and ashes lingering in the leather seats. At rest stops, I would sometimes just stare at all the scars the vehicle had and match mine up to hers. I sighed and was brought back to the current world when Castiel took Dean’s hamburger. He’d been worrying us all for days and now he just doesn’t eat? Whatever was wrong, it was something big.

  
“Dean, are you sure you’re okay?” Sam asked him from across the table. Dean lied and told him that everything was okay. Sam didn’t dig any deeper.

  
A gust of wind blew into the restaurant and caused a bunch of couples to turn to each other and show public displays of affection. I glanced at the boys and whispered, “Cupid.” Sam and Dean nodded while Castiel vanished in thin air.

  
The three of us ran to the back room where we found Cas whispering words in a foreign tongue with his arm outstretched in front of him. We waited until he was finished and looked around to see if anything happened. Out of nowhere, Dean was lifted off the ground by a jolly naked man. The discomfort on Dean’s face made me let out a giggle as Cupid said, “Your turn!” Cupid turned to me with outstretched arms as my face took on a horrified expression. My body was pressed against his chest as my feet no longer touched the ground, and he swayed back and forth. I was released when the Cupid saw Castiel and exclaimed, “Hello, you!” Cas’ eyes widened as he was embraced in Cupid’s handshake. Sam backed away when it was his turn but was still greeted by Cupid.

  
Dean and Cas interrogated Cupid in a rough manner as Cupid’s jovial smile turned into a confused frown. He didn’t know about the murders after all and the only thing he’d done was put them together.

  
The sad Cupid went off to the corner letting out little sobs. I wanted nothing more than to comfort him but also knew I’d probably be trapped in one of his death-grip hugs again. Cas stepped forward and offered an apology to the weeping Cupid. The Cupid turned around and grabbed Castiel by his overcoat sleeves. “I love love and if that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right,” he whimpered.

  
“I uh… I don’t know what you’re saying,” Cas replied. I slapped my palm to my forehead as Cupid began explaining himself. After begging Cas to read his mind, we found out that he was telling the truth.

  
Cupid began talking about how John and Mary were a “match made in Heaven” and made Dean take a swing at him. The Cupid fled and we’d lost our source.

  
A couple hours later the cravings were outrageous. I hadn’t cut for almost a year, but I felt the need to absolutely tear my skin apart for the pain. There's only so much you can take, even if it's an over-abundance of emotionlessness. Sam had been chained to the bathroom drainage pipe with the door locked and a dresser pushed in front of it and I stayed back to “watch” him. I was going to satisfy my own hunger - my own bloodlust.

  
Since I was practically alone, I went to the duffel bag and pulled out a knife. I shucked off my coat and sweatpants and was left in my tank top and underwear. The knife felt heavy in my hand as I began making shallow cuts on my arms, swapping the blade between my hands. Beads of blood came to the surface. The shallow cuts gave me a faint sting, and I bathed in it. I couldn't think of the guilt I would experience later, when the boys found out. The pain I experienced at this moment would fulfil my hunger for a long while. Within minutes my arms were covered. I cut my hands all the way to my fingertips and feverishly stripped off my tank top.

  
Two demons came through the door as I was distracted by cutting my shoulders. Sam bursted out of the bathroom and attacked one of them, overcome by his lust for demon blood. He didn’t even notice me as he tore the first one open and drank its blood. He knocked the other one out and ran out the door.

  
I breathed out a sigh and began to mark myself. It went on for an hour and by the end of that hour I’d finished putting deep and shallow slices everywhere on my body except for my face and upper back. I limped to the bathroom with blood dripping on the floor. I was completely naked in front of the mirror and finally saw the mess I made. The hunger was diminishing, but I needed more. Just one last taste. I dragged my blade down my cheek, before the intense hunger vanished. If you could shoot an addiction like a deer, that would be what happened. 

  
The bloody knife fell from my scabbed hand and clanked on the floor. I stood staring at the bathroom wall for who knows how long when I heard the motel room door open. “Y/N?” Dean called through the room. I bit my lip and braced myself for what was to come. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dean staring at the bloody trail from the bedspread to where I stood. I could feel his eyes on my naked body and heard Cas walk towards him. A gasp escaped one of their lips and I turned my body towards them. It wasn’t the fact that I was clothless in front of them that made me nervous, but the fact that I was dressed in a suit of blood everywhere below my hairline.  
My body felt sudden fatigue and Dean ran forward to catch me in time. He lifted me like I was a baby and laid me on the bloody bed. “Cas, could you get a wet towel?” Dean asked and I heard the water immediately being turned on. I blankly gazed at the patterns on the ceiling as they both cleaned my cuts with the little supplies they had. “Dammit we don’t have enough bandages,” Dean cursed under his breath.

  
“It’s fine,” I whispered. “Everything is aaaall fine.” Dean’s hand paused on my stomach and the wet cloth made my skin cool. I heard him swallow and his breathing get a little heavier before I looked up and saw that his green eyes were full of tears. “Hey, what’s wrong, Dean-ie? I’m fine,” I murmured.

  
Dean leaned back and left the cloth on my stomach before wiping his eyes. Tears slipped down his cheeks and he cried, “You’re not fine, Y/N! Look at you, look what Famine did to you!” Castiel finished cleaning me up and took both his and Dean’s rags to the sink. Feeling slightly stronger, I leaned up and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders.

  
I cooed into his ear, “All will be alright. It was me who gave in to Famine. I didn’t have to.”

  
Dean pulled away from my embrace. “You listen to me, Y/N. It was not your fault and it never will be your fault that you gave into it. He put his powers on everyone to heighten the extremeness of their longing for something, like Sam with his demon blood. We’ll get through this, alright?” he lectured me. I meekly nodded and he hugged me again and rubbed my bare back gently as if I were about to break. “Let’s get some clothes on you now, okay?”


End file.
